Guests at Our Own Celebration - Parshas Tetzaveh, a Wedding in Israel, and the Sacred Anonymity of Parenthood

Exactly one week ago, we celebrated the wedding of our second son in a joyous and beautiful ceremony in Israel. Since then, we’ve been hosted each night for sheva brachot, festive meals in honor of the bride and groom, lovingly arranged by family and friends.

On the way home from the final sheva brachot last night (an unexpected bonus of our return flights being cancelled due to the New York snowstorm was that we were able to participate in all seven celebrations), I realized that because the wedding and all its accompanying festivities took place in Israel, my husband and I were not able to host anything ourselves.

While we are profoundly grateful to have such loving friends and family who opened their homes to us, there is a bittersweet feeling in being guests instead of welcoming our new daughter-in-law into our own home and community.

Of course, the reason we are guests in Israel is because our son and his wife have made their home here. Their wedding wasn’t about us—it was about them. This is their land and their home, and we were happy to leave our own home and community to celebrate the new couple in theirs.

This reminds me of this week’s Torah portion, Parshas Tetzaveh (Exodus 27:20-30:10) which is the only section of the Torah since Moshe’s birth that does not mention his name at all. This striking omission is the result of Moshe’s plea to Hashem to save the Jewish people after the sin of the Golden Calf. When he begged for their forgiveness, he declared: “Yet now, if You will forgive their sin—but if not, blot me, I pray You, out of Your book which You have written” (Exodus 32:32).

Moshe’s erasure from Tetzaveh is not a punishment; rather, it is a testament to his unparalleled devotion to the Jewish people. He was so dedicated to his nation that he was willing to forfeit his role in their story in order to secure their future. Because the mark of a true leader is not self-aggrandizement, it is self-sacrifice.

And this is exactly the role a parent plays in a child’s life. From the moment pregnancy begins, a mother’s body prioritizes her child’s well-being over her own, if necessary. From that point on, parents orient their decisions around their children, making choices that nurture growth and development, often regardless of personal preference or convenience.

Last night, as we left the final wedding celebration, I realized that parenting has never been about me, just as Moshe’s leadership was never about him.

But the truth is that when we elevate the needs of others above our own, when we invest in our children for their sake rather than ours, we build an eternal legacy. A flourishing future that, far from erasing our name, ultimately immortalizes it.