Turning Endless "Whys" into Meaningful Connections

One of the most delightful and exhausting aspects of parenthood is the never-ending stream of questions from our children. Why is it raining? What’s for dinner? When will Daddy be home? Who are you talking to? How does the washing machine work? Every parent of a toddler knows that as soon as a child learns to talk, they also begin expressing their insatiable curiosity about the world through an endless barrage of questions.

As our children grow older, their questions become more complex—and sometimes more intimidating. How does the stock market work? Why do bad things happen to good people? What’s photosynthesis? In these moments, it’s tempting to shut down the conversation with a quick dismissal ("That’s just how the world works!") or outsource the answer ("Go search on YouTube."). But before we brush them off, we should pause and recognize the hidden treasure within our children’s questions.

Asking questions isn’t just about gathering information. From a young age, children realize that their parents don’t know everything. They also quickly learn that the internet holds an endless supply of answers. So when a child chooses to ask us a question instead of searching elsewhere, they aren’t just looking for facts, they’re seeking connection. Asking a question is an act of vulnerability; it’s an acknowledgment that the asker believes the other person has something valuable to share. A child’s question is an opportunity for relationship-building. When we respond with appreciation, whether or not we know the answer, we strengthen the bond between parent and child.

Children naturally yearn for secure relationships with their parents. Even those who act like they know better than Mom or Dad still want to see their parents as a source of wisdom and guidance. When they ask a question, they aren’t just hoping for a correct answer; they want to know their parents are listening, engaged, and eager to share. Children who ask questions are looking for more than just knowledge, they're looking for connection.

Of course, no parent has all the answers. There will be plenty of times when we have to say, "I don’t know," or "Let’s look it up together," or "That’s a great question for your teacher." But even when we can’t provide the answer ourselves, we can still embrace the question. There’s a world of difference between "I don’t know. Go look it up," and "What a great question! I love that you asked me. Let’s find out together."

This week, like countless Jewish women around the world, I am deep in preparations for Pesach (Passover), which begins this year on Saturday night, April 12. As we gather around our Seder tables, we will begin with the Mah Nishtana—the famous question: “Why is this night different from all other nights?” The very structure of the Seder is designed to encourage questioning, because questions are the gateway to meaningful learning and transmission of our heritage.

Twice, the Torah instructs us to answer our children’s questions by telling them about the Exodus from Egypt. In Shemot (Exodus) 13:14, “And it shall be when your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is this?’ that you shall say to him, ‘By strength of hand the Lord brought us out of Egypt, from the house of bondage.’” And again in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 6:20-21, “When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord our God has commanded you?’ Then you shall say to your son, ‘We were bondmen to Pharoah in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.’”

These verses highlight a profound truth: transmitting our values and heritage isn’t just about parents speaking—it’s about children asking. A child’s curiosity creates the space for meaningful conversations that shape their understanding of the world and their place in it.

So the next time your child approaches you with yet another question, cherish the moment. Answer in a way that strengthens your connection. As parents, we have so much wisdom to share, but perhaps one of the most important lessons we can teach is this: asking questions of the people you love and trust is the key to wisdom, growth, and deep, meaningful relationships.

If you want your children to listen to you, start by turning their questions into connections. The stronger your relationship, the more naturally they’ll respect your guidance and follow your lead.

That’s exactly what Parenting for Children to Listen is all about. In this video and accompanying notes, I’ll show you how to build the kind of parent-child relationship where listening and cooperation come naturally—not through force, but through trust and connection.

Because when children feel connected to you, they’re far more likely to hear you. 💙

Parenting for Children to Listen

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